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Penelope Leach - When Parents Part : How Mothers and Fathers Can Help Their Children Deal with Separation and Divorce ebook PDF, EPUB

9781101874042
English

110187404X
From the acclaimed, best-selling author of Your Baby & Child and one of the world's leading experts on child development and parenting, a practical, comprehensively researched guide to doing the best for your child during and after separation or divorce. Recent research clarifies why parents--fathers as much as mothers--are so crucial to children of all ages and how their separation can turn children's lives upside down. Drawing on the latest scientific findings, as well as on her many years of professional and personal work with children, Penelope Leach describes how parents can minimize the impact of separation and divorce on children through the six stages of a child's life, from infancy to adulthood. She helps parents find ways to continue being fathers and mothers when they are no longer husbands and wives. She explains recent studies that overturn numerous common assumptions, revealing, for example, that many standard custody arrangements can undermine young children's attachment to parents and in the case of infants even negatively affect their brain development; that unless infants and toddlers are already closely attached to both parents, regular overnights with the noncustodial parent may be damaging; and that dividing a child's time equally between the parents may be "fair" to them but seldom is best for the child. And, throughout, Leach grounds her approach with anecdotal evidence presented in the voices of children and parents themselves. Leach's child-centered advice, profoundly thoughtful and thorough, tackles the issues from every angle--emotional, scientific, psychological, practical, legal--covering everything from access, custody, and financial considerations to managing separate sets of technology in two houses. Above all she is insistent that for the sake of their future development, the needs of children must be put first. She is persuasively clear that mutual parenting, while seldom easy, is the best way forward for both the parents and the children., From the author of the best-selling Your Baby & Child: completely practical, comprehensively researched information and advice on how you can do what is best for your child when you are going through a separation or divorce. Using the latest scientific research in child development, Penelope Leach covers the various effects of divorce on children in five stages of life (infants, toddlers/preschoolers, primary school children, teenagers, college students/young adults), many of whom are far more deeply affected than previously thought. She explains recent studies which overturn many common assumptions, and which show, for example, that many standard custody arrangements for very young children are harmful to children's attachment to their parents and therefore to their brain development. There is evidence to suggest that the practice of having infants and toddlers spend regular overnights with non custodial parents may be damaging, and the practice of dividing children's time equally between the parents is seldom best for the children. Leach's advice is meticulously considered and exhaustive, covering everything from access, custody, and financial and legal considerations to managing separate sets of technology in two houses, and she includes the voices of both parents and children to illustrate her points. She explains why "mutual parenting" is the ideal way to co-parent after a divorce, and delineates ways to carry this out. And throughout, she makes clear that, most importantly in any separation or divorce, both parents must put their relationship to their children and responsiveness to their needs ahead of their feelings about each other.

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